he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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