I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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