God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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