and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
