some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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