in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
