I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
