Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
