GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
