their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
