Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
