don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think your dad took our porno
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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