You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize