eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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