I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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