i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
