he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
