There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
