help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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