You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
