Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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