Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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