ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
