I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
