ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
operation have a gay friend backfired
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize