if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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