I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Are my feet made of real feet?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We were destined to go to rehab together
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize