Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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