UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
