I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
