once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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