That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
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