yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Terrible idea I love it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
