this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
