I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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