I'm really into asian looking animals
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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