Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize