Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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