At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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