I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize