Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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