fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
