my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
