those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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