today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
