member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Randomize
