I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
