i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Randomize
