I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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