NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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