Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize