Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
