so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
