This dress was meant to end up on your floor
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
