my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
No subtext here. People are naked.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
My life is pants optional.
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