He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
