You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
