i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
