Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
