The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
