have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
