I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
