Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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