question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize