people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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