I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
