Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
