I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
