Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
