At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
