Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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