Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
