no. you can't hotbox the world.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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