i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
