Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
