This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
