I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
that may or may not have been my penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
