i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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