so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
