i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
